Vlogs of a Missing Nin
by Shayla Carters
Summary: The video logs of one Uchiha Sasuke. Written by me and my Little sis Tora. WARNING! - Mature language, and Adult humour. WARNINGx2! - Itachi on Crack! no drug use SasuNaruSasu! YAOI! No FLAMES!


_**Vlogs of a Missing Nin**_

The room was full of conversations. Sakura had invited everyone over for a catch up, seeing as they all had been busy with missions, sadly not everyone could come. They had gone onto her computer to muck about when a gasp escaped Ino's mouth.

"My God!" she squealed. This got the attention of everyone in the room.

"What is it Ino?" a curious Naruto asked her. She pointed to a Vlog section and gasped.

"Sasukes got a Vlog on this website!"

"What?" Everyone in the room gathered round the computer.

You had Ino in the chair, Sakura kneeling beside her on her left, and Naruto kneeling on her right. Shikamaru, Neji, Kiba, Hinata, and Sai standing behind her.

She clicked on it, and it loaded up.

_Sasuke sat in front of the camera wearing an oversized black T-shirt that hung off his left shoulder, showing off the curse mark on his shoulder. He looked off to the side, then looked at the camera._

"_Hi people, I don't really care if people watch this or not but, yeah." He shrugged as he finished saying this. Looking around the room a bit._

"_This weeks been really fucked up." He started. "The people that know me will know I was training with Orochimaru, not my best choice in the world if I say so myself." He lifted the collar of the shirt back up onto his shoulder._

"_Well, I'm never going back there again," he explained. "First off he wanted me to strip in front of him, which I didn't, just so he could 'teach' me a new jutsu, I mean seriously what the fuck? Does he really think I'm that desperate." He shudders just talking about it._

"_I mean come on, Kabuto was more than willing to do that for him." He reasoned. He sighed._

"_Well I better go, this hotel sucks." He reaches up and turns off the camera, the screen goes black._

Everyone was shocked speechless by what he was talking about.

"He left Orochimaru?" Naruto whispered. Ino nodded.

"This is troublesome." Shikamaru yawned. Everyone just had to agree.

"Hey look that one was 4 weeks ago, he's added more since then!" Sakura chimed in. Ino moved the mouse and clicked on the next one and let it load up.

_This time Sasuke was in a bedroom, the walls were dark blue, and there was a window to his right. He had a long sleeved dark blue shirt on. His obsidian eyes looked behind him like checking to make sure no one was there._

"_Hi again, I'm actually surprised by the amount of people who watched the last one. Probably fan-girls, I don't really give a rats-ass." He raised an eyebrow at the camera._

"_Well you probably noticed I'm in a different room now, let me tell you, I never expected when I left that Pervert that I'd end up staying here." He looked a bit freaked out._

"_Now I'll explain what happened, I'm gonna get in deep shit for this but I broke into the records room in Hokage mansion and looked through the past missions, I came across my brother, Itachi's, last mission, which was to assassinate the entire Uchiha clan, to stop them taking over the village, so in light of that, I'm not going to kill my brother, even if he is annoying, he's innocent so…" Sasuke shrugs glances around the room again. "Now I'm living with my brother and his partner, Kisame." There was a knock at a door off camera, and Sasuke looked up at it, as someone entered. They came and sat next to him in the view of the camera._

"_What you doing Otouto?" Itachi enquired._

"_A video log, which you're now a part of." Sasuke answered. Itachi looked at him and Sasuke looked back. Suddenly Itachi smirked and walked away from him. Sasuke raised an eyebrow and then sighed._

"_I better go and make sure he doesn't start his craziness in the lounge again, I had enough of that already, so yeah, next time, or whatever." As he was about to turn it off, Nyan cat started playing in the background._

"_Itachi!" Sasuke yelled as the camera went off and the screen was black again._

"He's living with Itachi?" Neji asked dumbfounded. Naruto sat there blinking. It was weird thinking that your best friend was living with the guy he said he wanted to kill when they were a team.

"He was in Konoha? He broke into the tower?" Kiba asked no one in particular.

"I-Itachi's i-i-innocent?" Hinata added shyly.

"Was that Nyan Cat?" Ino asked, then everyone started laughing. Honestly and s-class criminal that liked Nyan cat, everyone looked at the screen and saw what looked to be a video that Itachi had taken.

Sakura took the mouse off Ino and clicked on it herself.

_Itachi smirked at the camera that was being held by Kisame, they were out on the roof, the camera moved to look down at the ground were they seen Sasuke sitting looking out at the surrounding forest. Itachi put a finger to his lips as a sort of 'shh' sign, he showed a bucket of water to the camera and moved so that it was over Sasuke. The camera had a perfect view of the incident that was about to occur. The bucket was tipped and Sasuke jumped up and looked up at the roof with a glare directed at the two of them._

"_What the fuck Itachi?" he yelled. The Shirt he was wearing was clinging to him and the shorts were now falling down, so he held them up._

_Itachi couldn't answer he was laughing so hard._

"_You look like a wet Kitten Otouto!" he yelled down at him. Sasuke crossed his arms and stormed into the house. Itachi's face came into view._

"_Mission success, Kisame!" he chirped. "Sasuke will see ya all later!" Itachi grinned as the camera turned off._

"That was just weird." Kiba said.

"Seems like Itachi's a prankster…" Sakura reasoned.

"Sasuke did look like a wet kitten…" Sai muttered but everyone heard it. They all looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"What? Just put the next video on." He said. And Sakura did just that, it looked like it was taken not long after Itachi's prank because Sasuke's hair was wet and he was shirt less.

"_It's a good thing you guys saw what happened or I would be really pissed off explaining it." He shook his head, locks of raven hair landing in his face._

"_Yeah, Itachi always amazes me, I remember my brother always being serious when I was little, now? He's a completely different person altogether, I think that's Kisame's doing to be honest, those guys are so close, it reminds me of when I was still in my home village." He sighs as he looks out the window in thought._

"_To be honest with you, I actually miss my little energetic ball of sunshine, he just had this nack for making your day lighter somehow, I mean my days have gotten darker since he stopped chasing me a year ago, stop looking at the screen like that, I can still miss my stalkerish shadow." He looked back at the camera and smirks._

"_I've noticed, again, that a lot of people are watching my videos, but I don't really care, if you guys want I'll answer some of the questions that you guys have been sending me, so I'll answer them next time in my video, so I'll make sure to write some of them down." He gave a barely noticeable smile._

"_See ya." He waved and the screen went black._

Everyone was shocked speechless. He was spilling his feelings to complete strangers he didn't even know.

Naruto crossed his arms and pouted as they all sat speechless. 'I'm not that small anymore Bastard….WAIT! THAT BASTARD! I WAS NOT STALKERISH!'. Naruto silently fumed, but he couldn't stop the smile from forming on his lips as he thought of Sasuke missing him, and saying his days had gotten darker since Naruto stopped chasing after him. The only reason was that Tsunade Baa-chan stopped him from leaving the village unless team Kakashi or the other Rookies were there to stop him going off looking for him. Naruto looked over the rest in the room and noticed they didn't have a clue who Sasuke was talking about. He sighed inwardly, they never knew how close he and Sasuke got, they had been best friends, brothers even. But for Naruto it felt like they were even closer than that.

"Why don't we send a question and see if he answers it?" Neji suggested getting over his stupor.

"G-good idea N-neji." Hinata said shyly.

"But what shall we ask?" Shikamaru said thoughtfully.

"Let's ask a question each!" Ino chimed in, everyone agreed, they sent their questions and waited.

It had been a week since they sent their questions and the same group of Konoha Ninjas all sat back at Sakura's computer. They found Sasuke's vlog and noticed he's added two more videos. They clicked on the first one he added.

_On screen was a close up of Sasuke's face._

"_Revenge for the bucket of water Aniki dumped on me." He whispered. You could see the smirk form on his face as he walked into the living room area and handed the camera to Kisame, who gave him a thumbs up._

_You could see Itachi on his hands and knees reaching under the couch looking for something and Sasuke standing a few feet behind him._

"_What you doing Aniki?" Sasuke asked fawning innocence, but the smirk gave him away._

"_Looking for my nail polish it rolled under the couch." Itachi answered without even looking up. You could see Sasuke sigh silently, but then the smirk returned._

_Suddenly he was running forward and flung his foot forward and kicked Itachi in the knockers. Itachi then started rolling around on the floor holding his crotch. Sasuke landed next to him holding his foot._

"_Bastard! That hurt my foot! You got fucking balls of steel?" Sasuke yelled. Itachi tried to glare but it didn't work._

"_I'm the Bastard? You're the one that kicked me in the balls! I hope my steely balls broke your fucking foot dumbass!" Itachi yelled back. The camera was set on top of what seemed to be the mantel with a perfect view of the two on the floor and a laughing Kisame._

"_People. This is the daily life of the Uchiha heirs. Emotionless? Fuck that shit! Just look at them!" Kisame burst out in a fit of laughter again. Sasuke managed to sit himself up against the couch still holding his foot. Kisame looked over at Itachi._

"_Aww 'Tachi want me to kiss it better?" Kisame asked, as if talking to a young child that hurt their knee._

"_No! No sex for a week! I can't even think about it without my dick throbbing, and not in a good way bastard!" Itachi yelled at the blue man. Sasuke started laughing._

"_Seems like you're not getting any!" Sasuke teased. Kisame stuck his tongue out at the young raven._

"_Well neither are you seeing as your little boyfriend's back in Konoha!" He retorted. Sasuke's face turned red. He got up and limped over to the camera._

"_Umm, I've wrote your questions down so that video will be coming soon." Sasuke said his face never losing the red shade._

"Boyfriend in Konoha?" Ino screamed. Naruto was a bright red, but surprisingly nobody noticed. 'boyfriend? Wait! That Bastard never asked me out?' Naruto was seething within seconds. 'That means he's returned my feelings all along?' Naruto asked himself.

"We might figure out who it is in his QA video." Kiba added. Sakura nodded and clicked on the long video.

_Sasuke appeared in front of the camera with Itachi next to him filing his nails, and Kisame hanging upside down off Sasuke's bed reading 'Sushi Weekly' magazine._

"_Hi computer geeks, if you're watching this that means you've got way too much time on your hands." Sasuke greeted, Itachi elbowed him in the ribs._

"_So I'll be reading the names of the people and their questions and my Otouto will answer them!" Itachi chirped. "Right onto the first question!" _

"_This is from BarkingAndLovingIt - Dude, Are you gay?" Itachi looked at Sasuke expectantly._

"_Honestly, have you ever seen a straight guy with hair this good?" Sasuke asked sarcasm evident in his voice. Kisame chuckled in the background._

"_Right. Next question. This one's from LilacsNotAWierdEyecolour - Do you realize how much you hurt Naruto-kun?" Itachi again looked at his little brother._

"_Hey I didn't choose that question!" Sasuke looked at his brother, glaring._

"_No, I did, now answer." Itachi replied smugly. Sasuke sighed._

"_Yes I do realize that, but does nobody think about how it would hurt me?" he shifted in his chair a bit. "I mean, I had to say things to my best friend that I can never take back, I hurt him just so I could beat this bastard which I didn't even do," he was looking directly into the camera now. "I can never apologise to him for what I said, so yes I do know, because I haven't had plain sailing these past few years of my life either." Sasuke explained, Itachi looked at Sasuke with something like guilt in his eyes._

"_Right this ones from -insert name here-" Itachi looked up. "Were you really that lazy?" he asked._

"_Any way the question is, Is it Naru-?"_

"_I did not pick that question, so I'm not answering and you're not asking it!" Sasuke yelled._

"_Touchy, Touchy…" Kisame muttered in the background._

"_But I wanna know," Itachi whined._

"_You already know, you dipshit!"_

"_I do?"_

"_Yes you do, I told you the first week I was here!"_

"_He did 'Tachi." Kisame added in. Itachi looked blank for a moment, and then realization came across his face._

"_Itachi gets it now!~" Itachi said in a sing-song voice, clapping his hands and happy dancing in his seat. Sasuke rolled his eyes._

"_Just ask the next question."_

"_Right, this one's from PalmsOfLoveNotPain - Have you still got your card?" Itachi looked confused._

"_Yup!" Sasuke nodded bringing out a card and showing it to the camera, written on it was 'Sorry Girls, I'm Gay' with rainbows on it._

"_Ohhh, I want one!" Itachi squealed, bouncing in his seat._

"_Me too!" Kisame joined. Sasuke shook his head at them._

"_Ok next ones from BiggerIsBetter- Why does he want yours when mines is bigger?" Itachi looked at Sasuke again._

"_I am not even going to answer." Sasuke shook his head._

"_Why? Are you admitting his is bigger?" Itachi asked._

"_No! Hey, you can't talk I'm bigger than you!" Sasuke replied. Kisame nodded._

"_That's true."_

"_How would you even know that?" Sasuke looked freaked out._

"_You left the bathroom door unlocked when you went for a shower." Kisame replied easily. Sasuke shuddered while shaking his head._

"_Enough of that, next one from PurpleAndPerfect - What do you think our kids would look like?" Itachi was smirking at the end of the question._

"_Did you use any of the ones I picked?" Sasuke asked._

"_Nope!" Itachi chirped happily._

"_So to answer the question, I'm not having kids with you Ino, How did you even find my videos anyway?" Sasuke asked freaked out._

"_You did put them on the internet, and you can find anything on the internet, I found this porno with Itaa- Never Mind!" Kisame chuckled nervously._

"_What?" Itachi turned round to look at Kisame._

_Sasuke gains a devilish look on his face, and his lips pull into a very evil smirk._

"_Leave your domestic till later love birds, there's innocent eyes and ears in the room."_

"_Pffft! Innocent my ass! With the dreams you appear to be having lately you are no innocent Otouto," Itachi smirked and turned back around. Sasuke's face seems to be replaced by a tomato as he whacks Itachi on the back of the head._

"_Itai! Itai! Anyway!" Itachi glares at Sasuke one more time then turns back to the screen. "This one's from PinkBombshell - Do you think our kids would have pink hair and your eyes?" Itachi rolled his eyes as Sasuke sighed._

"_I'm not even going to answer that, I'm Gay, get that into your heads." Sasuke was dead serious while saying this._

"_Right last question from FoxyFutureUchiha - Since when did you ask me out bastard?" Itachi looked smugly towards a blushing Sasuke who was trying to hide behind his hands._

"_If this is who I think it is, Will you go out with me? I'm asking honestly now, send me a message, and please be gentle-"_

"_You sounded so much like a virgin!" Kisame laughed and abruptly stopped when he saw the glare Itachi sent his way. "Wait…are you?" Kisame asked with a slightly shocked look._

"_And what if I am? I'm saving it for that special person," Sasuke blushed, then paused and thought. "Waaaiiittt, do brothers count?" he smirked and looked at Itachi, who wore a look of horror._

"_Right, right enough, just finish answering the question." Itachi butted in._

"_Yeah, if it's not who I think it is, fuck off." Sasuke finished explaining._

"_How will they know it's them you're thinking of?" Itachi asked._

"_Well, he's very foxy." Sasuke winks at the camera._

"_Don't you mean he has a Kitsune?" Kisame enquired. Itachi then turns around, again._

"_Would you shut up, Sushi." Itachi glared._

"_Make me!" Kisame challenged. Itachi stood up, making Kisame sprint from the room, Itachi following. Sasuke turned back to the camera._

"_Well, that's the end of the QA, and Foxy I'll wait for your message, Ja-ne" he waved at the camera as you hear Kisame scream "Itachi don't grab that!" Sasuke looked horrified, and the screen goes blank with the picture of Sasuke's terrified face._

Everyone turned their gazes to Kiba.

"Hey I had to ask!" he yelled defensively.

"Hinata, what was with your question?" Neji asked.

"W-well, he h-had hurt N-n-naruto-kun so m-much I had to a-ask if he k-knew what he was d-d-doing…" Hinata shyly stuttered, her face a vibrant red. Naruto had tears in his eyes knowing that he wasn't the only one that was hurting.

"What was that card you were talking about?" Sakura asked. "It's weird, right Naruto?" She looked over to where he was sitting and saw that there was nobody there.

"Where did he go?" Ino said thoughtfully.

"He's going to make a Missing nin very happy." Shikamaru muttered.

In a clearing was a huge house with a raven sitting outside. A blonde walked into the clearing. Sasuke stood up quickly making himself dizzy. Naruto walked forward and Sasuke made his way towards him. They were at arm's length, Sasuke was very nervous, he kept shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Naruto smiled.

"Yes."

_**FIN**_


End file.
